She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
