Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
