dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
God I need to hump something, right now.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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