kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
