She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
