ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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