You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
