I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
