party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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