Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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