Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You made out with two different species that night
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
