The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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