You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
