dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
