doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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