those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
