it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
