FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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