hotel room ftw
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
