And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
