just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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