So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Randomize
