no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize