Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize