So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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