If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
