It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
