why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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