there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
