i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize