i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
