I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
