i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
