Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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