I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Can you bring me the toilet please
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
