At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
you had me at cake vodka
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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