you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
