Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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