Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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