think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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