So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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