Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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