We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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