operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
