I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize