What a fucking waste of an outfit
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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