Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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