Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
