You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I wish my penis had an off switch
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize