the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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