I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
