Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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