Fuck appropriateness.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
