I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
