I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
