The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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