Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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