we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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