So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
