Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
