I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
