she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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