And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
