You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
