I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
