The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i need some magic done to my vagina
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
