is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
How external is "for external use only"?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
