If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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