and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
