I must be too annoying 4 u.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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