I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
