hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
