A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
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