i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
