we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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